Life lessons from “The Four Agreements”

The book ‘The Four Agreements’ by Don Miguel Ruiz brings us teachings of Toltec philosophy to have a better life. Toltec culture was pre-established in the areas of Tula, Hidalgo and Mexico between 900 and 1521 AD.

Let’s go then to the four agreements that we must sign, according to the author, to have an ideal life. It is worth remembering that I do not intend to make a summary here, any text written by me will be a mix of values ​​passed on by the author with my interpretation and worldview. Feel free to disagree, words can’t hurt me and I’m really interested in discovering new points of view ;).

Preamble

First of all, it is worth noting that the Toltecs have a — at least initially — negative view of the world we live in. The world being understood as a penal colony, or even hell from the point of view of Christians. It is up to us, then, to overcome the negative dynamics, anxieties and fears of this plane we are in to have our true freedom, thus getting rid of everything that holds us to bad and unwanted feelings. Obviously, this is easier said than done.
So let’s get to the agreements.

Be impeccable with your words

In this agreement, the author focuses on the importance of not using our language to whip ourselves. Something we all do daily.
Gossiping, for example, is something that virtually everyone has already incorporated into their routines. It has become a cultural thing to go to friends and family’s houses and spend hours pointing out problems in the lives of others. What may seem like a harmless thing becomes a way for us to use our words against ourselves. When we gossip about someone, we are saying more about ourselves than the target of the gossip. Think about it, if you gossip about the clothes a girl wears, the probability that you yourself are insecure with your own clothes, or with your own body, is enormous. Moving on to the masculine universe, if you criticize a friend’s investment, or relationship, it is also likely that you yourself are lost in one of these areas.
Gossip is just one example, in direct conversations we also make many mistakes, especially when we are angry, frustrated, jealous, etc.

Don’t take anything personally

We have a bad habit of thinking that the world revolves around us. Taking something personally is nothing more than imagining that a person’s action is targeting you. What is madness. All of a person’s actions, including ourselves, are aimed at satisfying some need in themselves. So if a person does something bad for you, don’t take it personally, they probably do it to alleviate a feeling they have. This is a thought that really needs more reflection on the part of those who read it, forgetting the idea that you are the center of the world is really complex and I really believe that not all people will be able to reach this level of thinking. At this point, the thinking of the Toltecs is actually very similar to Stoic philosophy.
Taking it personally is simply something very much in line with our biological nature.

Don’t jump to conclusions

We spend hours imagining what can, what can’t, what could and couldn’t have happened. After these hours of ruminating, we try to jump to conclusions. Often we would rather suffer with these thoughts than actually clear the doubt. This behavior is often encouraged by psychologists and mental health “professionals”. I realize that, especially in romantic and professional relationships, there is a lot of difficulty for people not to assume. You assume all the time, “Does this person like me?” (this person is dating you), “Does my boss approve of my work?” (even though he hired you two months ago), “Will I get fired if…”, “Would they be mad if…”, the possibilities are absolutely endless. Our mind is absolutely brilliant, but it can actually put us through the worst possible hell if we allow it to. I believe that of all the teachings this is the most difficult to follow, and also the one that can give us the greatest level of freedom.
Always remember: People DO NOT see life the way you do. If you want answers, get in touch.

Give your best

We can sabotage ourselves all the time by simply not doing our best. Sometimes we are afraid of losing, of making a commitment, of admitting that we were wrong. Usually what stops us are fear and laziness. Another point of similarity with the Stoics, at this point we can’t get too hung up on making our journeys a success. How much we learn in everything we give our best is absolutely priceless. The knowledge, experience, lessons and discipline we acquire by persisting in something are adjectives that can never be removed from our existence.